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[21 Apr 2004|09:37pm] |
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i made a new journal.
if you want to be added over there let me know.
im not sure if i am going to be updating this one anytime soon.
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[20 Apr 2004|01:25pm] |
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So yeah. I stayed home today. I was going to go but I ended up waking up late because my alarm never went off. I had the AM and PM mixed up. It was sat for 6:30pm haha. Oh well.
So I tried to go to sleep but I didn't get too much of it. People kept calling, and then fucking Nicole calls and asks why I'm not there and that everytime I miss school that we take class time for our project. Like she never misses those days, whatever. I was pissed cause she woke me up.
After that I tried to go back to sleep but it wasnt happening so I ended up just laying there for a little while and then I finally got out of bed. I got on here and I made a CD. I've been making alot of those lately.
I am going to make another journal I think. It is going to be friends only, so if you want to added there just let me know and I will add you. I am starting to feel weird that just anybody can read my journal you know? So yes. I will still probably update this one though. Word.
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| yooo. |
[19 Apr 2004|08:48pm] |
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contemplative |
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thrice ; the artist in the ambulance |
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So yes. I am doing a friends cut.. could the following people please take me off their friends lists. thanks. ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) _pink_kiss_babygirl327bad_kittie_1983cushionmyheartdaisydimeelusive_sheephistoryavengerdanquixotemph_199myinfatuationstudwellunlessihadtoxx_carebear_xxYou either haven't commented lately, or never commented at all. So yes. Please take me off thanks. Moving on.. school was alright. I wore my dress. It was nice. Ms. Shinnick was like 'aw jess you look so girly today' haha. I got in trouble though since it's strapless and Ms. Wetzel made me wear my jacket at lunch, I was pissed because I didn't want to get ketchup on it, but I didn't so it's all gravy Nothing exciting happen. We are doing archary in gym and I suck. When I let go the arrow on goes a couple feet in front of me, it's all good though as long as I get a good grade for trying haha. After school I came home and cleaned my room. Then i hung out with a friend. We ended up sleeping for like 2 hours and then we woke up drove up Taco Bell. The quesadillas are like 10x better. Yummy. Whose getting drunk this saturday? Me. I haven't drank in a long long time so I think I deserve it, for being so good and everything. Word. I have so much homework and I have to write my paper for English which sucks because I have to actually write it and I have to skip lines inbetween each sentence. It just becomes a hassle. Thursday is take your child to work day, which means that I am going to not be in school. Word. Fruit punch gatorade is my new favorite thing. The new saying for girls who have "been around" is that they are mashed potatoes. I think that's funny. Hahahahaha. I lost my math binder, I have nooo fucking idea where the hell it is. |
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[19 Apr 2004|07:11am] |
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holy shit. it's going to be 89 degrees today! that's insane lol. anywho. i am wearing my hott dress and yeah. i hope they don't say anything to me because it's going to be too hot to wear my jacket.
i need to take my allergy medicine. ehhh.
i have plans for today, so that should always be fun.
i wish i was pretty.
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[18 Apr 2004|11:11pm] |
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Ehh.
I broke up with Shaun. It just wasn't working. I know he hates me, but I can't change the way I feel.
I had a good day today. I got out of the house and I really needed to.
That is all for now.
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[17 Apr 2004|08:44pm] |
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another update cause im bored.
i was going to hang out with ren tonight but we are going to hang out tomorrow hopefully after she goes to see her mom.
her mom is so strong. i've never met her but i hope to someday.
i dont know whats wrong with me today. im sorta pushing everyone away..
i seriously cant wait til i move. i really wish i could move out of maryland.. my mom said she wished we could move to another state and start over.. but we just dont have the money for that.
i really dont think shaun wants to be with me. i just dont like this whole.. not talking to him on the weekends thing.. its not working for me.. i guess im just selfish.. but yeah.. he said that his friends would understand and shit.. but he still goes with them every weekend.. and doesnt talk to me at all.. and im not saying i need to be above his friends or he needs to ditch them and come over my house or anything.. im just saying i wish i saw him a little more then i did.. and i think it could happen if we talked during the weekends, but we dont.. so yeah. whatever i guess.
i dont even really feel like i have a boyfriend.. i dont have that feeling when i wake up everyday.. i guess because i really dont get to see him everyday.. so its just like im single except for when he comes over. i dont think relationships were made for me. im too selfish of a person and i think i demand too much. i don't know anymore.
i just miss the days when i was happy. it seems like i haven't been really happy in forever. im such a loser and i am always in my house. what kind of life is that? and sometimes i even have a chance to go out and i just dont.. i dont know why.. i have problems.. whatever i guess though.
maybe if i lost some weight people would like to hang out with me.. all the skinny girls have tons of friends.
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[17 Apr 2004|03:20pm] |
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So yeah.. I am hungry x495845.
I am in a bad mood.
I dont know about life anymore..
I'm moving in february, I can't wait.
i haven't been in the mood to comment.. but that's okay because only half of the people i comment, comment back.
to those of you who do. its appreciated. i am just in a sucky mood. I will get around to to it though.
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[16 Apr 2004|03:48pm] |
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shocked |
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the cure ; boys dont cry |
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I got my report card.
GUESS WHO GOT TWO A'S? MEEEE!
Haha.
Gym - C
Enlgish - A
Geometry - D
Journalsim - A
So I guess that english is my strong subject considering I got A's in both english classes. But yeah good shit.
I am going to get a jacket today to go with my dress.. and because I have been needing a white jacket since forever and a day.
The newspaper is almost done with. I am sort of excited. All 3 of my stories are going to be in there and that makes me one happy camper haha. My Iraq story made front page ;] hellllllll yeah.
We decided to do teasers on jasmines sexual harrassment story, the story about baltimores water being bottles [aint that some shit], and this story about cell phone jammers.. its a device that makes the waves from a call phone hit each other and you can't get a signal. So yeah. I made up the teaser for the baltimore water [baltimore water to be sold, hon] and for the cellphone jammers [we're in a jam] so yeah. Good shit. I think I just have my bad days for Journalism and my good days so thats always fun.
I want my mom to hurry up and come home so I can show her my report card and shit. I am so happy for myself. Word.
I don't have anything to say, and I will comment later. So yeah. Bye Bye.
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[15 Apr 2004|02:56pm] |
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geeky |
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coheed and cambria ; blood red summer |
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Today was alright I guess. School is school. In gym we are playing this game.. it's like weird.. haha. our teacher calls it human fuse ball.. even though I spelt that wrong. But yeah.. I got hit with the ball like 349584095x. I really hate being defense. It's not cool at all.
English was alright until Mr. Mack decided to be a fucking dick. I wanted to like murder him... we were watching this movie called "A Lesson Before Dying" or something like that and we were answering questions during it. So we turned in our papers and he called out some named and handed them back. I didn't know why because I did everything I was suppose to and then Nicole told me I put my date wrong. So I fixed it and another kid was like "Mr Mack will you take these if we fix it" and he's like "no you just get a zero".... ugggh I was so pissed.. he fucking gave us a zero for it because instead of name, period, date.. we put.. name, date, period which we have been doing since 6th grade. What an asshole. I am going to be a bitch to him the rest of the time I am in that class. I already can't get an A because of that shit so who cares. Either way I will pass the class.
Geometry sucked because it's math and I hate it. Why do I need math to become a lawyer. I will just pay someone to do my math for me. It's not like I don't know the basics anyway. I think you should only have to take up to algebra I and be done with it... but nooooo you have to take 39048549 other shit classes. Whatever.
Lunch was fun like always. Sophie made me laugh so hard today, I was crying haha. She was like "Bill I am clean now [as in drugs]" and he's like thats good. and shes like "yeah it's been two days now".. I'm not sure why it was so funny but it just was and I couldnt stop laughing.. then Julie tickled my chunks and I laughed even harder but then she gave me a titty twister and it wasn't funny anymore lol.
Journalism was shit too because I hate that class. I can't wait until all this news paper shit is just done with.. seriously.
Me and Billy walked home as usual. He told me my hair looks good parted to the side. And I was telling him about my hott dress. We are both dying our hair black and have to get glasses.. nobody really care but yeah. He said he is getting his lip pierced too. I think he would look hott that way. He's hott now though.
My mom is going out with her friend tonight and bringing me yummy fattening greasy food before she does. How nice of a mother is that. Haha.
I wish it wasn't windy, today would be like 75 is it wasn't for the wind.
I think that is all, I am going to eat some cake to hold me over then I am going to do homework.. and then comment.
I miss shaun ;/
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[14 Apr 2004|09:51pm] |
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I am bored out of my mind right now.
I feel like a drug addict. Everyday [or at least when I remember] I take my BC pills, Tylenol PM's, my allergy medicine, and almost everyday an Aleve for headaches. Haha.
I have the hiccups.
I want something but I don't know what. Maybe another peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
I need to drive and I need friends who drive. I am tired of sitting in the house or walking everywhere or having my mom take me. Hopefully I will be driving by christmas. It sounds like a long time away but I want to save up alot of money and get a black Jetta. I don't want to have to pay alot of car payments, so yes.
I need to go shopping for clothes.
I can't wait until monday when I can wear my hott dress to school. I love that dress x44857 even if I do look like a fat cow.
This rain needs to fucking stop and it needs to be pretty.
Some asshole is fucking with my flowers.. someone stepped on them and they broke. I swear I want to find out who did it so I can murder them. My poor tulips!
That is all. Just random shit cause I am bored.
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[14 Apr 2004|06:22pm] |
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me: lol who is that.
me: oh
me: ew
me: SHES ICKY ASIAN YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK!
ren: omggggggg
ren: i want to fucking vomit.
ren: we should start like,a club or something
me: SAY NO TO ASAIN GIRLS.
me: word the fuck up to that man.
ren: asian*
me: dude. dan is hot why doesnt he pick hot girls.
ren: IKNOW!!!!!!
ren makes me laugh.. and although that convo has no meaning to none of you it is a funny one.
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| you're lookin' good when you're half dressed. |
[14 Apr 2004|12:40pm] |
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hungry |
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britney spears ; showdown |
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So I stayed home from school today although I shouldn't have. Whatever though.
I didn't get much sleep last night, I kept waking up because I was having the weirdest dream ever! I was making out with this guy and then he like turned into a monster and raped me and then this dead lady kept stabbibg me. I got away and went to my friend Nicole's house [for some reason this all happen in her back yard]. Then I don't know where I was but I started stabing the dead lady and of course it didn't kill her so there was really no point. Then the guy kidnapped me and I lived where ever he lived. Then his children showed me pictures of the guy that was dead and the dead lady, like pictures from their murders I still can remember the lady had on a red shirt and a black skirt. The guy kept raping me and for some reason I started to like it cause I'm fuckng weird.. but yeah then my mom called and I woke up and I told her and she called me a weirdo with problems lol. But yeah it was freaky and it was one of those dreams where you wake up and think its still happening, then you realize its not and you go back to bed and it all starts again, right where it left off. Who knows.
Moving on, I am hungry as crap. I didn't realize it but last night I didn't make Shaun anything to eat. I guess cause I wasn't hungry. I am selfish and I shall stop that.
Friday Shaun wants me to go to this show with him. I might go just because I want to see him and shit, but I don't really like shows that much. They give me a headache and I'm not down with jumping up and down and getting beat the fuck out of by a bunch of strangers. Who knows. Maybe I will go and like.. just stay away from all that.
I really shouldn't have stayed home from school today lol. Nothing I can do about it now though. The people in my journalism class are probably all pissed at me, but maybe not, they are nice people. <33.
I need something new to listen to, but I don't know anything. Oh well.
I am off to get some food. Lousy update but it's all gravy baby.
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[13 Apr 2004|10:18pm] |
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thoughtful |
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usher ; burn |
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So yes. Shaun came over today. We had a lovely time, at least the majority of the time.. then I started thinking. I like him so much and it really scares me because when you like someone alot they have the power to like.. keep you up or take you all the way down. Its just a scary thing. I don't know.
First day back to school today. It was a tiring day indeed. We didn't do too much, but the stuff we did do was so fucking boring I swear to god. I need to bring up my math grade like.. really bad. We get our report cards today. I got an A in english ;]. I am not too sure about my other grades but I am sure I didn't fail anything.
I have lots of friends now. So I shall start commenting and shit. <333
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| ehhh |
[12 Apr 2004|10:20pm] |
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I know I need to comment, I will do so as soon as I can. I promise.
I had a really bad day today, I really don't feel like going into detail but yeah.
I don't like this setting the clocks forward shit, time goes by so fast now. It pisses me off.
I got some Naked juice today, it is and always will be the shit lol.
But yeah. Just a short update because the computer is about knock me offline. Fucking verizon.
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[12 Apr 2004|11:31am] |
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embarrassed |
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showdown ; britney spears |
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Ehh.
You gotta love this fucked up life that I live. I really hate it. I am always afraid to answer the door because I am not sure if they are going to turn the electric off or if when I come home all my shit will be out on the streets. It's really not a good feeling at all, I think if I didn't have to deal with it all then I would be a happier person. But when you have all this weight on your shoulders about stuff like that it's hard to even think about anything else, considering you need it to live.
Oh well.
Happy Birthday my dear <333
I made lots of new friends. I am happy lol. Commenting gives me something to do when I am bored.. which is all the time.
I don't have anything else to say. I really hope that my mom gets here soon because if not I will have no electric. I don't see why they can't just take the check. Everything would have been alright then.
Whatever.
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[12 Apr 2004|02:11am] |
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAUN <3333333
I HOPE YOUR DAY IS A GOOD ONE. IM SORRY IM A BITCH.
but i cant wait to see you. i miss you so much <3.
carrot three
----------------------
Guess who gets to see the man of her dreams tuesday? OH ME!!
And guess who is going to the Orioles and Yankees game may 27th.. THAT WOULD BE ME AGAIN.
Life is awesome sometimes.. although as soon as it gets better it can drop back down to shit.
YAYAYAYAYAYAY
<3333
EDIT @ 3:09am. I BELIEVE IT SHOULD BE ANNOUNCED THAT REN BOULDEN IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE MY HEART. SHE BROUGHT ME HOT CHOCOLATE AND A BAGEL WITHS LOTS OF CREAM CHEESE BECAUSE SHES AN AWESOME FRIEND AND WE LOVE EACH OTHER <33333333 THANK YOU DO MUCH. IT HIT THE SPOT LOL.
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[11 Apr 2004|07:23pm] |
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music |
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d12 ; my band |
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I suppose I should update about my day.
I went to bed late as shit .. or should i say early as shit [4am]. My brother woke me up at 9:45 and then I got ready and we went to go see my dad.
We stood in the cold&rain for about an hour or so. They then decided that at 12 [even though visiting starts at 11:30] they would open the doors. The guy frisked my brother, we deicided it was because he was white lol. It was so funny, when we were outside waiting this black lady was like "man this place is ridiculous, its run by niggers though what do you expect". I've never heard a black lady diss on their own race like that lol. We got in and sat down. My dad came and was getting on my nerves. He starts like cracking on my mom, it gets annoying. My mom cracks on him all the time. I don't know whose lying and whose telling the truth most of the time. Oh well I guess though. At least my mom didn't decide drugs and drinking were more important than her children. On the way home Kenny drove down a one way street and we didn't realize it until cars started coming towards us so we had to hurry up and turn around. My dad might be getting out this summer, like June. If he doesnt get out then, he will be in there for 18 more months. I will be out of high school and hopefully going to community college [WHICH HE WILL HELP PAY FOR *%*(#&$] by then. I told him I wanted to be a lawyer and he was like "this family needs a lawyer", althought I could never be a lawyer to my family because I would want them to go to jail for all the fucked up shit they do haha. Anywho I don't think thats allowed.
When I came back my mom had an easter basket for me. She put like 6 bags of gummy bears in there haha. I love her. I also got a strawberry shortcake sticker book thing. It's so cute seriously. I love it. After I went through all of that I ate dinner and then I went over my grandmoms. I haven't seen her in a few months so it was nice.
I miss my family. It's just not the same anymore and that makes me really sad.
I guess that is all. My internet is being a cocksuck so yeah.
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| just a quote. |
[11 Apr 2004|03:18am] |
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contemplative |
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boys night out ; sketch artist composite |
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"Some feelings never die they just become dormant but the slightest memory can bring them back just as strong as they started"
heh. i liked it.
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[11 Apr 2004|12:50am] |
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geeky |
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none. |
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So yeah. My computer was being a cock so my mom took it back and they fixed it by doing something starting with the prefix re.. if thats even a prefix. anywho. I was dying last night and I kept think it was saturday so I was waiting for mad tv to come on and I realized it was friday.
I've been upset with Shaun for the past couple days. He really upset me last night. I had this horrible dream. I woke up sweating and in tears.. Me, my mom, Julie, and 2 other people were driving and we got into a car accident. We saw the cops coming so we tried to run away from them and then ended up going to this house where this lady died.. and this guy was getting handcuffed and all but the killer was really this black guy.. he ended up shooting at the car and me and julie died. It was really freaky. I was so scared the rest of the night cause I was all alone, and when Shaun called I felt a little better but he like.. didn't want to talk. When I just needed someone he wasn't there.
Happy Easter everyone.
We were suppose to dye eggs tonight but I don't know what happen to that idea, oh well. This is going to be sort of a shitty easter. No easter basket and no family really. I just have my mom, brother, and sister. I guess thats all I need but I just wish that my family wasn't so stupid.
I started a rating community and nobody has joined ;/.
Yesterday Me and My mom spent the day together doing all kinds of stuff. We went to pay some bills and then we went to Home Depot to buy string for the weedwacker. While I mowed the lawn my mom weedwacked.. after that I planted pretty tulips and I hurt and I ended up skidding my elbow across the sidewalk ;/. After that my mom made us a good dinner. It was nice.
Tomorrow I have to get up bright and early and go to see my dad. I really don't feel like waiting in the rain and cold and shit but I dont see where I have a choice lol.
Alright, I am off to tell people about my community and to comment. So that is all. Bye bye.
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[10 Apr 2004|09:50pm] |
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My computer was being a cock. But I will update better later.
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